Friday, October 14, 2016

Best Horror Movies of 2016 (So Far)

'Tis the season to be scary! And what better way to celebrate the upcoming Halloween than watching pants-wetting horror movies?

This is a list of the best horror movies of 2016 (so far; more come out this month!). If you haven't seen any of these yet, then grab some popcorn, turn off the lights, and start streaming (and screaming)!


Conjuring 2

Link for screaming--I mean, streaming--here.


I unfortunately didn't get to see this in theaters. However, with an 80% Rotten Tomato rating and a scary-ass nun-demon, this one's on my streaming list.



The Boy

Stream link here.


Because life-sized porcelain dolls weren't freaky enough, William Brent Bell had to make them haunted.

Well...sorta. :)

Read the full review here.



Blair Witch

Still in theaters. (I mean, I guess you could stream it via illegal download, but that's a pretty shitty thing to do. Bad reader. No cookie.)




Behold! The rare remake/sequel that doesn't suck balls!

Read the full review here.



Don't Breathe

Still in theaters. :(


Because I watched this last month just as school was starting up again, I didn't get a chance to write an awesome review. Stupid school. Costs way too much tuition and precious blogging time. :(

Anyway, Don't Breathe is created by the same makers of Evil Dead (both the original and the remake, both of which are very good). In fact, Jane Levy stars in both the Evil Dead remake and Don't Breathe, and she does an amazing job (as regular Mia, possessed Mia, and Rocky).

The premise is simple: three desperate schmucks decide to break into an old blind man's house and steal his money. Only, the old blind man is a complete psycho who spends the night hunting them down to kill and/or rape them. (Luckily no raping actually takes place on screen. Also, his definition of the crime is super outdated: "I'm not a rapist. I'm just going to impregnate you against your will with a plunger, like a gentleman.")

Highly recommended. Limited horror movie mistakes, minimal cliches, absolutely terrifying.



Lights Out

Stream it here.



Another one I didn't get to review right away. But as I've only seen it once and spent those two hours cowering behind my palm, there's not much to review, other than the fact that it's terrifying.

Basically, this family is haunted by a creature/ghost that only appears when the lights are out. So while there's a somewhat unreasonable amount of jump-scares, there's some real terror here. This ghost has been around for decades, haunting the main character's mom. But it only shows up when she's off her meds and succumbing to her various mental disorders. So the ghost has to keep up an abusive relationship, convince the mother to stay off her meds, and terrify/kill anyone who distresses her.

So, yeah. Recommended. Terrifying. Awesome.

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Thanks for reading!
What horror movies from 2016 are your favorites?

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