Friday, April 29, 2016

Top 10 Disney Villains

Inspired by my review of The Jungle Book where I mentioned a few of my favorite Disney villains, I decided to make a list of my top 10. But I couldn't decide easily, so I spent the last two weeks binge-watching Disney movies in the name of research. You're welcome.

Here is my opinion on the matter, blared out onto the Internet to serve my self-entitlement. Enjoy!



10: Warden Louise Walker (Holes)



First off, played by Sigourney Weaver (Alien and Aliens). Second, she's exploiting child labor to find treasure. Third, she puts rattlesnake venom on her nails. On. Her. Nails.

And she didn't have a chance. Her grandpa completely ruined her.


9: Lady Tremaine (Cinderella)




Cold, calculating bitch. What's not to love?

But she's only mean to Cinderella, not her "real" daughters, and she wants what's best for them (which would be marrying one of them off to the prince; that was the only way to ensure a good future for a girl in that time period). So there is some love in her; it's just reserved for the two people who are as nasty as she is.


8: Hans (Frozen)




Was anyone else surprised when he turned out to be the villain? When he and Anna were moving in for the kiss, I thought Obviously that's not going to work because Christophe is her true love, so this'll be like Quasimoto and what's-his-name from Hunchback. I did not expect him to turn into a cold, ambitious bastard like flipping a switch.

It is a very rare Disney villain that can surprise me.

It's a shame Hans was only the villain for ten minutes. He was way more interesting as the bad guy than the love interest.



7: Syndrome (The Incredibles)




I love villains who think they're the good guy. Syndrome thinks that unleashing a giant robot to kill a bunch of people, pretending to destroy the robot, and then selling all of his inventions is actually going to help everyone because he'll be eliminating superheroes in the process.

And he's full of himself, which makes it very satisfying when he loses.

And to top it off, he's actually a coward. He's like an over-sized child who plays with lasers.



6: Charles Muntz (Up)



Hey, I'd go insane, too, if I was stuck in the jungle for forty years. And he's lost so many poor puppies... ;~;

Really, how can you not love a guy who has so many dogs? Talking dogs!



5: Shere Khan (The Jungle Book)



I already talked about this guy quite a bit in my review of The Jungle Book (the 2016 version, not the original). So I'll just do a quick recap:

Terrifying.

Unstoppable.

That creepy scene with the wolf cubs.



4: Jumba and Agent Pleakley (Lilo and Stitch)



I'm counting these two as villains even though they ended up as good guys because...well, they did spend 90% of the movie trying to catch Stitch and repeatedly endangered Lilo's life in the process (not to mention destroying the house...).

These two are hilarious and so at odds with each other. And their characters are developed enough that they can believably do a 180 in alliances. Jumba's willing to do pretty much anything to capture Stitch (and he does quite a lot once Pleakley no longer has lawful authority over him), but once they realize the damage it's causing (with Lilo's kidnapping and the fact that Stitch has now found himself a family), they help.

And Pleakley gets bonus points for cross-dressing. (He's right; the wig does make him pretty.)


3. Claude Frollo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)



Another bad guy who thinks he's the good guy. Except unlike Syndrome, many people like Frollo actually existed in France.  The Roma people ("gypsies" is an extremely offensive term) have always been persecuted, and religious authorities like Frollo were usually the ones who carried out that persecution.

Then there was that whole sexual harassment of Esmerelda. He would have burned her alive for not sleeping with him if it hadn't been for Quasimoto, and somehow pressuring her for sex makes both of them "pure." Disney just nailed that weird logic used by sexual predators and rapists.

Frollo's a great villain because he's real.



2. Scar




I had a bitch of a time figuring out #2; it was either Scar or Judge Frollo (for aforementioned reasons). So I asked my friends on Facebook and every single one of them voted for Scar. Mischief managed!

Fratricide, regicide, attempted nepoticide, letting the hyenas take over and destroy everything, serious big brother issues...and such a manipulative bastard, too. Granted, not much skill is involved in manipulating a kid, but you can't have a lot of morals to do that, either.

Power-hungry bastards who will stop at literally nothing to get what they want scare the hell out of me.



1. Shan Yu (Mulan)



He survived an avalanche (popped out of the snow like a daisy).

He took over the Chinese capital with a handful of men.

He's freakishly strong.

And, unlike many villains (and heroes), he doesn't hesitate to fight Mulan just because she's a woman. Usually in a movie that deals with sexism the way Mulan does, the bad guy is the guy who hates women the most. Not so here. When Mulan reveals to Shan Yu that she was the one who single-handedly destroyed his army, he doesn't stop and gape, he doesn't say, "But you're a woman," he doesn't do any of that. He just drops the captain and goes after her.

Which is terrifying, because villains are supposed to be sexist so they underestimate the female hero, so she can easily beat him because he never looks at her twice. Shan Yu doesn't give us that opening! How the hell are we supposed to fight a guy who actually respects us and doesn't belittle us for our gender? That's just wrong!

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(And yes, I see the irony of putting Shan Yu at #1 for lack of sexism when I put Claude Frollo just two steps down for being sexist. I like be contrary; sue me.)

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Thanks for reading! :)

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns and are not comfortable using the little comment box below, please do not hesitate to contact me directly.

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